Please confirm you are human
This browser or connection looks automated. Press and continuously hold the control for 3 seconds to enable Google-hosted web results and, when separately allowed, AI-assisted answers.
A successful check enables 100 search requests. Interactive access does not authorize scraping, systematic collection, or reuse of search output.
News
Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around
1+ hour, 20+ min ago (38+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — Staff for Mitch McConnell assured the nation that the Kentucky senator had been dropped off at a nice farm in the country where he would be much happier and have lots of room to run around....
Senate Joins Rest Of Nation In Holding Fauci In Contempt
1+ day, 15+ min ago (27+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — A committee from the United States Senate announced today that they were finally joining the rest of the nation in holding Anthony Fauci in contempt....
Trump Solves Affordability Crisis By Opening Nation's Strategic Burrito Reserve
1+ day, 50+ min ago (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — With concerns over the affordability of burritos sweeping the nation, President Donald Trump addressed the crisis head-on by tapping the nation's Strategic Burrito Reserve....
Update: Moroccans Who Invaded Spain Now Registered To Vote In New Jersey
1+ day, 23+ hour ago (37+ words) TRENTON, NJ — Due to yet another "glitch" in the state's computer database, officials confirmed that the tens of thousands of Moroccans who invaded Cetua, Spain last week were now registered to vote in New Jersey....
Middle East Expanded To Include Michigan
2+ day, 57+ min ago (30+ words) DETROIT, MI — Following the Senate primary victory won last night by Abdul El-Sayed, an official announcement was issued that the Middle East had expanded to include the state of Michigan....
Annoying: Man’s Faith In God’s Plan Is Getting In the Way Of His Political Doomerism
2+ day, 1+ hour ago (36+ words) KAYSVILLE, UT — Local Christian man Greg Moffat expressed annoyance this week over the fact that his faith in God's goodness continues to get in the way of sinking into despair over the state of American politics....
Trump Signs Executive Order To Bring Back Racist Pro Sports Team Names
2+ day, 23+ hour ago (25+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday the signing of an executive order to bring back racist pro sports team names, effective immediately....
Government-Run Stores To Allow Anyone To Buy Groceries As Long As They Have Special Mark On Hand Or Forehead
3+ day, 1+ hour ago (40+ words) NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani assured citizens today that a photo ID would not be needed to shop at government-run grocery stores, stating all that would be required is a special mark on the right hand or forehead....
Trump Warns Iran This Is Their Fourth-To-Last Chance At Peace
3+ day, 3+ hour ago (32+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — The stakes in the war with Iran reached new heights this morning, as President Donald Trump warned the Iranians that this was their fourth-to-last chance at peace....
Spaniards Horrified To See Their Country Turning Into Minnesota
1+ week, 1+ hour ago (31+ words) CUETA — The people of Spain were reportedly horrified to see footage of tens of thousands of migrants illegally invading their nation, knowing full well that their country could soon become Minnesota....