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News

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > congress-wondering-who-that-stunning-man-is-behind-trump

Congress Wondering Who That Stunning Man Is Behind Trump

6+ mon, 2+ week ago   (27+ words) Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!...

babylonbee.com
babylonbee.com > news > with-maduro-in-custody-here-are-7-other-people-trump-should-arrest-immediately

With Maduro In Custody, Here Are 7 Other People Trump Should Arrest Immediately

8+ mon, 4+ day ago   (176+ words) President Donald Trump ordered the arrest of Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, toppling...NSA, and DMV to compile the following list of who Trump is planning to arrest next: Tim Walz: He just declared...prisoner, she'll be forced to eat. The…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > kim-jong-un-wins-over-populace-with-his-charisma-experience-and-ability-to-shoot-you-in-the-face-if-you-dont-vote-for-him

Kim Jong-Un Wins Over Populace With His Charisma, Experience, And Ability To Shoot You In The Face If You Don't Vote For Him

5+ mon, 3+ week ago   (205+ words) PYONGYANG — History was made once again in the small but proud nation of North Korea, as longtime leader Kim Jong-Un's political party claimed victory by winning over the populace with his trademark charisma, experience, and ability to shoot you in…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > uh-oh-trump-nominates-unknown-spanish-economist-ronaldo-paulino-as-fed-chair

Uh Oh: Trump Nominates Unknown Spanish Economist Ronaldo Paulino As Fed Chair

7+ mon, 1+ week ago   (262+ words) when his term expired in the spring, President Donald Trump nominated an unknown Spanish economist named Ronaldo...Federal Reserve. According to administration insiders, Trump made the choice after a brief meeting with Paulino...a lot about the Fed for being…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-lures-gay-ayatollah-out-of-hiding-with-cardboard-cutout-of-david-hasselhoff

Trump Lures Gay Ayatollah Out Of Hiding With Cardboard Cutout Of David Hasselhoff

5+ mon, 3+ week ago   (300+ words) TEHRAN — At President Donald Trump's direction, the U.S. military successfully took out...eliminated. "No one can resist The Hoff," Trump said. "Even I get kind of hot and bothered...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > aging-george-soros-hoping-to-ruin-just-one-more-country-before-the-end

Aging George Soros Hoping To Ruin Just One More Country Before The End

7+ mon, 2+ week ago   (341+ words) KATONAH, NY — As the geopolitical landscape continued to prepare for a changing of the guard, aging billionaire powerbroker George Soros expressed hope that he could ruin just one more country before the end. Aging George Soros Hoping To Ruin Just…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > report-trump-just-one-more-assassination-attempt-away-from-a-free-third-term

Report: Trump Just One More Assassination Attempt Away From A Free Third Term

6+ mon, 2+ week ago   (197+ words) third assassination attempt in the books, President Trump is reportedly one step closer to a free third term....people try to kill him four or more times. Though Trump was in D.C. at the time of the alleged attack,...repeated attempts…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > mri-confirms-president-donald-trump-has-incurable-advanced-stage-patriotism

MRI Confirms President Donald Trump Has Incurable Advanced-Stage Patriotism

9+ mon, 1+ week ago   (295+ words) suspected for years, as an MRI confirmed that President Donald Trump suffers from incurable advanced-stage patriotism. MRI Confirms President Donald Trump Has Incurable Advanced-Stage Patriotism WASHINGTON,...suspected for years, as an MRI confirmed that President Donald Trump suffers from incurable…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > king-trump---i-like-the-sound-of-that-says-trump-after-hearing-about-no-kings-protest

'King Trump - I Like The Sound Of That,' Says Trump After Hearing About 'No Kings' Protest

10+ mon, 3+ week ago   (273+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump stated that he actually kind of liked the ring of "King Trump" after hearing the term for the first time...Saturday's "No Kings" protest. 'King Trump - I Like The Sound Of That,' Says Trump After Hearing About…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > a-civilization-will-die-tonight-says-donald-trump-as-he-enters-all-you-can-eat-shrimp-buffet

'A Civilization Will Die Tonight,' Says Donald Trump As He Enters All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp Buffet

4+ mon, 6+ day ago   (29+ words) traumatized following a surprise visit by President Trump who, upon arriving, vowed that a civilization would...

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