Please confirm you are human

This browser or connection looks automated. Press and continuously hold the control for 3 seconds to enable Google-hosted web results and, when separately allowed, AI-assisted answers.

A successful check enables 100 search requests. Interactive access does not authorize scraping, systematic collection, or reuse of search output.

Hold with a pointer, or hold Space or Enter.

News

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-officially-classifies-liberal-women-as-terrorist-organization

Trump Officially Classifies Liberal Women As Terrorist Organization

2+ week, 4+ day ago   (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In remarks delivered from the Oval Office on Tuesday, President Donald Trump announced that he had officially classified liberal women as a terrorist organization....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-threatens-military-action-to-take-control-of-canadas-maple-syrup-supply

Trump Threatens Military Action To Take Control Of Canada's Maple Syrup Supply

2+ week, 5+ day ago   (27+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — With tensions rising over an ongoing trade dispute, President Donald Trump threatened to send in the military to seize control of Canada's maple syrup supply....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > congress-assures-american-people-40-trillion-debt-can-be-fixed-by-spending-more-money

Congress Assures American People $40 Trillion Debt Can Be Fixed By Spending More Money

3+ week, 1+ day ago   (30+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though the U.S. national debt officially surpassed $40 trillion this week, Congress was quick to assure Americans that the issue could be easily fixed by spending more money....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-claims-strait-of-hormuz-for-us-unveils-floating-golf-course

Trump Claims Strait Of Hormuz For U.S., Unveils Floating Golf Course

3+ week, 4+ day ago   (30+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that after declaring the Strait of Hormuz an official U.S. territory, it had immediately been filled by a floating Trump golf course....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > karoline-leavitt-prepared-for-motherhood-after-spending-last-two-years-answering-millions-of-stupid-questions

Karoline Leavitt Prepared For Motherhood After Spending Last Two Years Answering Millions Of Stupid Questions

4+ week, 2+ day ago   (36+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has announced that she will be leaving her post in order to be a full-time mom, having prepared herself over the past two years by answering millions of dumb questions....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > fauci-lying-about-vaccine-miscarriage-risks-necessary-so-i-could-meet-sandra-bullock

Fauci: 'Lying About Vaccine Miscarriage Risks Necessary So I Could Meet Sandra Bullock"

1+ mon, 17+ hour ago   (49+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his first public statement since testifying before a senatorial committee, Dr. Anthony Fauci said misleading the American people on the potential dangers of the COVID vaccine, particularly as it pertains to the risk of miscarriages among pregnant women,…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > aoc-has-her-boyfriend-frozen-in-case-she-wants-him-in-the-future

AOC Has Her Boyfriend Frozen In Case She Wants Him In The Future

1+ mon, 20+ hour ago   (38+ words) NEW YORK CITY, NY — After rumors circulated that she had split with her boyfriend, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posted a video explaining how she had actually frozen him just in case she might still want him in the future....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > mitch-mcconnells-staff-says-he-was-dropped-off-at-a-farm-in-the-country-where-hell-be-happier-and-have-more-room-to-run-around

Mitch McConnell's Staff Says He Was Dropped Off At A Farm In The Country Where He'll Be Happier And Have More Room To Run Around

1+ mon, 5+ day ago   (38+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — Staff for Mitch McConnell assured the nation that the Kentucky senator had been dropped off at a nice farm in the country where he would be much happier and have lots of room to run around....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > senate-joins-rest-of-nation-in-holding-fauci-in-contempt

Senate Joins Rest Of Nation In Holding Fauci In Contempt

1+ mon, 6+ day ago   (27+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — A committee from the United States Senate announced today that they were finally joining the rest of the nation in holding Anthony Fauci in contempt....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-solves-affordability-crisis-by-opening-nations-strategic-burrito-reserve

Trump Solves Affordability Crisis By Opening Nation's Strategic Burrito Reserve

1+ mon, 6+ day ago   (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — With concerns over the affordability of burritos sweeping the nation, President Donald Trump addressed the crisis head-on by tapping the nation's Strategic Burrito Reserve....