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News

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-officially-classifies-liberal-women-as-terrorist-organization

Trump Officially Classifies Liberal Women As Terrorist Organization

2+ week, 4+ day ago   (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In remarks delivered from the Oval Office on Tuesday, President Donald Trump announced that he had officially classified liberal women as a terrorist organization....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > senate-joins-rest-of-nation-in-holding-fauci-in-contempt

Senate Joins Rest Of Nation In Holding Fauci In Contempt

1+ mon, 1+ week ago   (27+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — A committee from the United States Senate announced today that they were finally joining the rest of the nation in holding Anthony Fauci in contempt....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-solves-affordability-crisis-by-opening-nations-strategic-burrito-reserve

Trump Solves Affordability Crisis By Opening Nation's Strategic Burrito Reserve

1+ mon, 1+ week ago   (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — With concerns over the affordability of burritos sweeping the nation, President Donald Trump addressed the crisis head-on by tapping the nation's Strategic Burrito Reserve....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-signs-executive-order-to-bring-back-racist-pro-sports-team-names

Trump Signs Executive Order To Bring Back Racist Pro Sports Team Names

1+ mon, 1+ week ago   (25+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday the signing of an executive order to bring back racist pro sports team names, effective immediately....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > so-called-christian-nationalist-hasnt-even-posted-anything-overtly-hateful-online-yet-today

So-Called Christian Nationalist Hasn't Even Posted Anything Overtly Hateful Online Yet Today

1+ mon, 2+ week ago   (29+ words) BOISE, ID — The credentials of one local man were called into question, as the so-called Christian Nationalist had yet to post anything overtly hateful on social media today....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > trump-asks-democrats-at-correspondents-dinner-to-hold-all-assassination-attempts-until-he-finishes-speech

Trump Asks Democrats At Correspondents' Dinner To Hold All Assassination Attempts Until He Finishes Speech

1+ mon, 2+ week ago   (29+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In order to limit interruptions at tonight's White House Correspondents Dinner, President Donald Trump requested that Democrats please hold all assassination attempts until after his speech....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > mamdani-offers-to-cool-new-yorkers-down-by-sending-them-to-siberian-gulag

Mamdani Offers To Cool New Yorkers Down By Sending Them To Siberian Gulag

2+ mon, 1+ week ago   (47+ words) NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani asked New Yorkers weathering the heatwave to keep their thermostats at a scorching 78 degrees so as not to tax the city's inadequate power grid. Still, Mamdani said he had other ways to cool down…...

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > obama-library-cruelly-disenfranchises-millions-of-black-americans-by-requiring-photo-id-for-entry

Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry

2+ mon, 3+ week ago   (26+ words) CHICAGO, IL — In a cruel denial of basic human rights, the Obama Presidential Library has disenfranchised millions of black Americans by requiring photo identification for entry....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > cringe-out-of-touch-company-posts-pride-logo-like-its-2014-or-something

Cringe: Out-Of-Touch Company Posts Pride Logo Like It's 2014 Or Something

2+ mon, 3+ week ago   (29+ words) PITTSBURGH, PA — Local company Stan's Paper Mill proudly posted on X, formerly Twitter, a message celebrating Pride Month, apparently ignorant of the fact the year is no longer 2014....

The Babylon Bee
babylonbee.com > news > 10-questions-on-californias-test-to-determine-if-youre-gay-enough

10 Questions On California's Test To Determine If You're Gay Enough

2+ mon, 3+ week ago   (45+ words) California has introduced an official LGBT Business Enterprise certificate, which comes with all sorts of cool tax breaks if you're a certified gay. Sounds great, right? However, the state is doing its due diligence by testing all applicants to determine…...