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Babylon Bee is the definitive source of fake news you can trust.
- 1,701articles · 365d
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- Sep 13, 2025earliest in window
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- 175avg words
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News
Trump Officially Classifies Liberal Women As Terrorist Organization
2+ week, 4+ day ago (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In remarks delivered from the Oval Office on Tuesday, President Donald Trump announced that he had officially classified liberal women as a terrorist organization....
Karoline Leavitt Prepared For Motherhood After Spending Last Two Years Answering Millions Of Stupid Questions
4+ week, 2+ day ago (36+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has announced that she will be leaving her post in order to be a full-time mom, having prepared herself over the past two years by answering millions of dumb questions....
AOC Has Her Boyfriend Frozen In Case She Wants Him In The Future
1+ mon, 14+ hour ago (38+ words) NEW YORK CITY, NY — After rumors circulated that she had split with her boyfriend, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posted a video explaining how she had actually frozen him just in case she might still want him in the future....
Mitch McConnell Honors Late Friend Lindsey Graham With 47-Day Moment Of Silence
1+ mon, 2+ week ago (26+ words) WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a touching moment, Senator Mitch McConnell honored his late friend and colleague, Lindsey Graham, with a solemn 47-day moment of silence....
California Reminds Voters There Are Just 30 Days Left To Vote In Last Tuesday’s Election
3+ mon, 4+ day ago (33+ words) LOS ANGELES, CA — California election officials reminded voters over the weekend that there are just 30 days left to mail in their vote for the Los Angeles mayoral election that happened last Tuesday....
Pride Parade Forces To Change Direction After Route Takes It Within 200 Yards Of School
3+ mon, 1+ week ago (32+ words) SAN FRANCISCO, CA — A parade celebrating Pride Month was forced to suddenly change course after participants informed organizers that none of them were allowed within 200 yards of a local elementary school....
Newsom Orders Reservoirs Emptied In Preparation For Fire Season
4+ mon, 3+ week ago (291+ words) LOS ANGELES, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom took decisive action on Tuesday as he ordered California reservoirs drained in preparation ahead of this year's fire season. To ensure that high-risk areas of the state would be rendered sufficiently vulnerable to hot,…...
Dozens Of Injuries Reported At ‘No Kings’ Rally After Multi-Scooter Pileup
5+ mon, 2+ week ago (188+ words) BOSTON, MA — Dozens of significant injuries have been reported at the "No Kings" rally today after a multi-scooter pileup as the protest crossed Tremont Street. Nearby trauma centers were reportedly inundated with patients who had suffered broken hips and femurs…...
California Celebrates Installation Of Single L.A. Trash Can That Cost $400 Billion And Took 18 Years To Build
5+ mon, 3+ week ago (261+ words) LOS ANGELES, CA — California state and city officials gathered with residents on Thursday to celebrate the opening of a public trash can that cost just $400 billion and took only 18 years to install. The lavish ribbon-cutting ceremony in Griffith Park was…...
San Francisco Celebrates St. Patrick’s Day By Adding Green Dye To Sidewalk Poop
5+ mon, 3+ week ago (258+ words) SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Just in time for St. Patrick's Day, San Francisco officials spared no expense in dyeing all the poop on the city's sidewalks green. "Wow! It's so festive!" remarked one homeless man. "I should poop on the sidewalk…...